Dating Catwoman
by LadyZotalot
Summary: Conner tries to educate himself on comic book romances while waiting at a bank. Cameron steals his comic, among other things. SuperIce


**A/N: **Big Bang and Bitter Cold are my made up comic book characters for Conner's comic. I named them so that their ship portmanteau would be BigCold because I'm lame like that.

* * *

><p>Conner leaned against the brick wall beside the stately doors of the bank as if he was waiting for someone. He tried to convince himself, and anyone around him, that he wasn't waiting for somebody by pulling out a thin, colorful comic that he'd borrowed from Robin the day before. Conner flipped through the pages. He stopped on a splash page that depicted the spandex clad heroine, Bitter Cold, grabbing the gentleman thief Big Bang by the wrist as she pulled him in for a kiss.<p>

_"When I saw this exhibit was visiting the Crystal City Gallery, I **KNEW** you would come," Bitter Cold said with a brush of her lips against Big Bang's jawline._

_"I **KNEW** I couldn't really do this to you," Big Bang declared. He dropped the bag of loot. "I'll **NEVER** betray you, Bitter. You have my oath of honor."_

Conner frowned. Robin had given him this comic as part of his "epic plan" to "teach Conner the ways of the troper". Apparently, the trope in highlighted here was called Dating Catwoman.

Conner didn't see what this comic had to do with Catwoman. Okay, so Big Bang was a thief too and he was a nice person underneath kind of like "Selena" as Robin referred to her, but Catwoman stole things based on a theme whereas Big Bang stole everything. Conner didn't see the similarity. Conner took a deep breath and tried to figure this out by himself; if he had to look up the trope page on the internet again, Robin would throw a fit.

_Dating_ Catwoman. Maybe that was the important part. Conner flipped the page and read the next few panels.

_Bitter Cold and Big Bang were going to try to make this work.__ Bitter pulled off her mask then and revealed her name to Big Bang.  
>"I'm Brittney Frieze," she whispered into Big Bang's ear. <em>

_The dark silhouette spoke back in hushed whispers. "My name is Adam Evos," he replied._

Conner frowned. They trusted each other? Just like that? Who _did _that? He turned a few more pages.

_"I can't stop, Brit! This is **WHO I AM**!" Big Bang declared as he fled with a bag of loot. He shimmied down a fence._

Conner rolled his eyes. Of course he went back to crime! He was raised by the Evos crime cartel; he knew no other way of life. It was the man's family heritage.

_Bitter Cold's cape fluttered in the cool night air as she looked down on his retreating form. "Why did I **EVER** trust you?" she sobbed. "I trusted you with **MY** heart."_

Conner snorted. She shouldn't have. No one can trust someone to change just because they're in love. That's not how relationships work. You can't force someone to better themselves; you can only hope they do so on their own and offer them help along the way. You have to be there for them and they have to want to make the change for you and for themselves.

_Big Bang paused in his retreat and turned to face the lover he'd betrayed. "I...I-"_

Conner's comic was slammed shut then by an angry fist. The comic fell to the pavement.

"Are you going to stop me or is that comic much more interesting than me robbin' this bank?" Icicle Jr. asked. He dropped his bag of loot.

Conner shrugged. He squatted and Cameron's eyes followed. Conner reached towards the bag of loot and then he reached right over it and found his comic. He wiped off some specks of dirt. He read on.

_"I...I don't **WANT** to hurt you," Adam admitted._

_Bitter Cold plunged down from her height and landed in front of Big Bang. "Don't you see, Adam? You don't **HAVE** to do this anymore! Your family isn't here to make you...they're all in prison. **I** should know! **I** put them there!"_

_"Brit, I...I don't want to **LIVE** without **YOU**."_

_"You don't have to. You just have to be better than this...you **ARE** better than this. That's why I **LO**-"_

Cameron hit Conner in his stomach with his bag of jewels. "Hello? Robbery going on here!"

Conner grunted. "Yeah, with Big Bang, I know. Bitter Cold is stopping him though, there's no problem."

"Big Bang?" Cameron dropped his bag and ripped the comic out of Conner's hands again. "Oh, cool!" he shouted. "I love this one. See, they're totally hot for each other but can't be together because they're on other sides of the law. It's a classic Dating Catwoman love story."

The crush of bricks into a fine powder wasn't enough to pull Cameron's nose out of Conner's comic book. "Shh! Be quiet. You're ruining the atmosphere."

Conner doubted Cameron ever had the right atmosphere; not with the security alarm going off this whole time. Conner looked to the pile of powder which he'd created with his frustrated slam against the wall. "I wanted to figure it out by myself," he growled.

Cameron raised an eyebrow. "Why are you reading this...here?"

Conner shrugged. "I knew you'd come and," he snapped his knuckles, "I was bored."

"But I'm here now and you're still reading..."

"Yeah? So?"

"'So?'" Cameron picked up the bag of loot again. "I'm robbing the bank! You're supposed to stop me! That's not supposed to be boring."

"Well, normally it isn't," Conner admitted.

"So what's different today?"

"You," Conner said.

"Me?" Cameron, somehow, rolled the word into multiple syllables. Suddenly, Cameron's face dropped. "Oh, I get it." He sighed. "Conner, bro, you can't...be nice to me."

"Why not? You're my friend."

"Yeah...but I'm also evil."

Conner rolled his eyes. "You are not evil."

Cameron waved the bag in front of Conner's eyes. "Yeah, stealing stuff! Totally evil."

"Evil," Conner took the bag from Cameron, "would mean you'd break the bro code."

"The bro code? Conner, come on! You can't be serio-"

"I don't joke about the bro code, Cameron." Conner's tone was as serious as his steeled glare. "You," Conner pulled Cameron by the wrist, "weren't really going to break the bro code by stealing that right in front of me."

Cameron tried to wriggle out of Conner's grasp. "I could have! How could you know?"

"You're a good person," Conner said resolutely.

"I'm a criminal."

"A good person underneath," Conner amended. "You don't really want to do this. Your dad's still in prison, Cameron. Who are you trying to impress? Because I only see me and you here and I am certainly not impressed."

"Dude, you're talking in cliches," Cameron groaned, "and you're making me feel guilty." He slapped Conner on the arm with the butt of the rolled up comic. "It's almost like you planned this..."

Conner grabbed the improvised weapon; he unrolled it and tried to find where he'd left off.

Cameron blinked. "You...you said you'd knew I'd be here?"

"Yup." Conner turned the page.

"And...you brought that specific comic."

"Uh-huh." Conner flipped to the next page.

"And you think I'm a good guy despite my past?" Cameron asked.

"Sure, sure, bro."

Cameron slowly pulled the comic away from Conner's view. "Conner...is this a date?" he asked as soon as he had his friend's full attention.

"No."

"'No'?"

"I did bring some food though." Conner showed Cameron his knapsack full of junk food. "And I had Rob hack the alarm so that the cops don't know it's going off." He popped open a bag of chips and took a bite. He snapped down on his munchies. "Oh, and I broke up with M'gann," he said through a mouthful.

"You...what?"

Conner pushed a chip into Cameron's gaping mouth. "It's rude to chew with your mouth open," he directed.

Cameron shut his mouth. "Okay," he swallowed, "I guess...some anvils need to be dropped."

Conner nodded. "I have no idea what you're talking about."

Cameron almost believed Conner was clueless, but then, he smirked. Cameron smiled. "You know, if we're following Bitter and Bang as an example, then I get to turn on you at least once?"

"What's the point in that?"

Cameron was the one to smirk this time. "Making up is hot."

_"That's why I **LO****VE **you, Adam," Bitter Cold revealed. _

_Big Bang opened his loot bag and pulled out a wine bottle. "I didn't steal anything, Brit. I just wanted to..."_

_"Ruin us before we started?"_

_He laughed at himself. "Yes. I guess I'm afraid of you."_

_"Me? Why?" she asked flabbergasted._

_He pours her a drink. "I'm afraid of having you steal my heart."_

_"It's only fair, Adam. Considering you've **ALREADY **stolen mine."_

_"Well," he swirls the red wine in the glass, "as long as it's fair, I guess I'll just have to meet your terms."_


End file.
